U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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