I forgot how hot balto sounded
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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