There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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