Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize