i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
where does the pee come out of this thing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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