Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman http://tfl.nu/ee4v

Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong? http://tfl.nu/4brz

Replies (28) Good night (3623) Bad night (751)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower. http://tfl.nu/v1s4

Replies (33) Good night (5308) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame' http://tfl.nu/7sje

Replies (8) Good night (3958) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over. http://tfl.nu/n0ys

Replies (15) Good night (8396) Bad night (1028)
Favorite
(702): View more from Nevada

Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5

Replies (20) Good night (5284) Bad night (870)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question. http://tfl.nu/23so

Replies (13) Good night (1786) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui

Replies (8) Good night (2603) Bad night (614)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls. http://tfl.nu/qfqf

Replies (14) Good night (2811) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(757): View more from Virginia

Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(757): Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life. http://tfl.nu/3f3y

Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q

Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (422)
Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive

Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (157)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.

(1-360): View more from Washington

It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance. (1-360): It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot. http://tfl.nu/be8l

Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (207)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability. http://tfl.nu/69z6

Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (297) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn

Replies (3) Good night (299) Bad night (102) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: