In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think I am morally bankrupt
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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