I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize