First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize