I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
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It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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