I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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