We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize