Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize