The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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