Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize