Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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