My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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