this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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