that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She announced her abortion via fbk
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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