hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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