I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize