Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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