1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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