Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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