Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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