but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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