and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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