he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
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Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
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i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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