i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
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Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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