Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize