this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
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Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Someone signed my nipple.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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