I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just come out here and I will go home with you...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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