Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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