my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize