i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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