He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize