oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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