I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
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Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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