Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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