I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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