I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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