i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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