the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My bed smells like the plague
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize