i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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