Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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