Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
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Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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