Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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