I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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