so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize