Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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