i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
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You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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